


New World Commandments

by SleeplessInGeneral



Category: Original Work
Genre: F/F, F/M, M/M, Multi, Near Future, Other, Rating May Change, The union does not exist anymore, can't spoil everything now can I, no, of course I can't
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-10-31
Updated: 2016-10-30
Packaged: 2018-08-28 01:43:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,385
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8425882
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SleeplessInGeneral/pseuds/SleeplessInGeneral
Summary: Well, you know. Roger just really wants to get married. For real, not just a contract for personal interests like his dad has with his five wives and one husband. And when he meets that sexy blonde Russian guy, well, he hopes he finally found his soulmate - or it might just be the sex? He's not sure.He also doesn't want to hurt his friend, Kyle. Kyle claims to have a boyfriend who writes and illustrates comics. It's kind of hard to believe, but if he ever told him that... Yeah. It would be best if he didn't. He'd just let the casting couch do that for him.





	

**Author's Note:**

> This first part is pretty fast-paced and frazzled, but hopefully the next part will explain a lot more things. So give this a chance, it will get better.
> 
> Word ahead of time, this world is in the near future where lots of things have changed, including the union breaking up. However, it's called American citizenship and not *country* citizenship, because the term just stuck. There are lots of other terms that stuck too. So, as Tom Lehrer said, be prepared.

'eddies wedding party is today. you getting outta there anytime soon?'

'I thought he doesn't believe in marriage.'

'nah, just for the money.'

'No. I'm not getting out of there anytime soon. I'm happy with my ramen and yt videos.'

"Hammerstein! It's Eddie's wedding! You gots to get out of there!"

The black and blue blanket was pulled away from Roger, nearly knocking over the hot ramen cup from the bedside table. Comic strips featuring men having sex were flashed from Roger's phone, and so he quickly turned it off.

"Dude, that's disturbing. Now I can't unsee it!"

"Well, it's your fault."

"Are we going though? We have to go. It won't be nice if we won't."

"Remind me again who he's marrying?"

"Charlotte de Lys. Twenty-four. Her dad was once married to Edd's mom."

"When did their contract go up?"

"A couple of years ago. He's doing it for the money, you know. Apparently her dad's loaded or something."

Roger exhaled and sat up, rubbing his eyes. Kyle sat down at the other end of the bed and started eating his ramen. He didn't really mind. He wasn't hungry anyway. "So, are you up to a Massachusetts clubbing experience, OC boy?"

"You don't have a Massachusetts clubbing experience either."

"Yeah, but there aren't many awesome clubs in Birmingham, and those that I do know of are pretty homophobic."

"I thought Alabama was an open country?"

"Well, after seceding it became much more open. But my neighborhood didn't really change since leaving the union. And that has been a long time ago. Like, a really long time ago."

Kyle got up and took the ramen with him. "Try to make yourself look presentable, alright? Jeans and flip flops won't cut it this time."

"I'm too tired for that shit right now."

"Well, your dad's a bigshot director, isn't he? And I know for a fact that you've been to some events in your life. The fanciest event I ever went to was my bar mitzvah and that was over ten years ago. I shouldn't be the one telling you to look presentable."

"You sound just like Helen."

"I'll take that as a compliment. Now get ready, we're leaving."

Kyle took the ramen and went out of the room, possibly going to eat it while standing against the wall, staring at his phone. Roger had no idea what was up with him today. Kyle resorted to mothering – well, his version of mothering – whenever he felt uncomfortable with something, just like with his ranting. He decided that it was about time he got his roommate laid, and fast. And with Eddie marrying his former step-sister… there weren't going to be many options at that club. At least that's what he was thinking.

Then again, Roger thought, Kyle could do things himself. He was a big boy, no longer relying on his parents. He dared to say that if he lost a couple pounds, maybe got a sleeve gastrectomy, he would be a decent-looking guy. But he still needed help getting things going with people. And this made Roger mad. Irrationally, but still mad.

A few minutes later, Roger got out. He was wearing jeans and sneakers. Hopefully that won't earn him a smacking. "Can we go now?"

"Wow, sneakers. A big step up from flip flops."

"Shut up, mom."

"Well, at least my boyfriend is coming here soon." Kyle shoved his phone in his pocket.

"You don't have a boyfriend."

"I do. You choose not to believe that I am capable of getting a boyfriend on my own, but I do have one. His name is Dima. He's very nice."

* * *

 

"So your dad only married Tony so he could get an American citizenship?"

"My dad isn't on the queer scale, he is strictly into women, and Tony is strictly into men. Their marriage is more of a sponsorship than marriage."

"So why isn't he letting the contract go up?"

"Because Tony isn't legally a citizen yet. Those things take time. It took my mom fifteen years to get her citizenship."

"And yet, he does not let go of her contract either."

"That has to do with him being a jerk. He actually wants to keep his contract with Tony after he gets his citizenship too. They're very good friends."

The blonde guy on the other side of the bar has been looking at them for quite a while now. Kyle didn't seem to care. He was just talking away in his cheerful way, drinking his coke and snacking on some pretzel sticks he brought with him. And then a brown-haired girl got to them.

"Kyle Rothschild?"

"Charlotte!" The awkward clapping made the situation all the more awkward for Roger, but Kyle and the girl didn't seem to mind. "I haven't seen you in ages, darlin'!"

"I miss Alabama so much, you have no idea."

"Well, your fault you guys moved abroad! My mama misses you like crazy. I'm sure she'll pull out the moon pies and good ham if you said you were coming over."

"Oh dear lord, moon pies. Haven't had one since we were fifteen."

"Girl, you just miss the Dixie."

"Anyone would miss the Dixie!"

"Roger, meet Charlotte!" For some reason Kyle's accent became much worse now that he made contact with another Southerner. "I forgot to tell you she's the step-sister."

"Roger, it's nice to meet you." The girl had another terrible accent. "I've been told a lot."

"Why are you two saying Dixie constantly?"

"Would you rather we said the south?" Charlotte had a shocked look on her face. "It's like saying the Midwest or the Mediterranean or the Middle East. We're independent, but we deserve a name of our own."

"Heart of Dixie for the win!"

"Yes. Absolutely yes. Also, when are we having a reunion?"

"I don't know. Do you want me to ask?"

When Roger caught Eddie close by he got up to grab him there. "Were you aware of your wife being from Alabama?"

"Yeah. I know her since we've been fifteen."

"Did you also know she's into having Alabama pride with Kyle?"

The Indian squinted and looked at his redhead friend. "You're from Alabama?"

"Surprise!" And then he turned back to Charlotte. "I didn't know your dad got rich. How the hell?"

"Well, you know, five-year marriage, got a job at MIT, gave a few TED talks, now everyone wants him to talk at their businesses, he makes tons of money out of those. But hey, not all of us are Oscar Hammerstein."

"No, no we're not. Eddie, I'm stealing your wife for a dance, alright? We have a reunion to plan."

"Go ahead, take your time."

It was kind of funny to see the two of them dancing. Neither was the thinnest, both of them very tall, and they were totally not in sync with anyone else. Roger knew it was him being typically Californian for thinking that, but seeing Kyle and Charlotte dance just looked funny. He knew no one that looked like them. It was the California thing again.

The blonde got closer when Eddie sat down and got a beer. He smiled at Roger. "Is this your boyfriend?"

And he had an accent. This was going to end up being terrible for Roger's sex drive.

"No, a friend. He just got married."

"Oh. For how long?"

"Three years," Eddie noted. "Just until my student loans are all paid up."

"May I steal you for a dance?" The Russian blonde offered his hand to Roger.

"I would love to."

"Dmitry."

"Roger."

* * *

 

'I'm in Cambridge now. Where are you?'

'i thought you werent in massachusetts yet.'

'Sorry. I should've told you.'

"Is everything alright, Kyle?" Charlotte looked concerned. Kyle hated concerning anyone with his problems.

"Yeah, sure." He swallowed and nodded, trying not to blush. "My boyfriend's here and I need to go see him."

"So go. I'm still here."

"Can you come with me?"

Charlotte nodded. "Sure. The heart is on your side after all."

"Thank you."

* * *

 

Dmitry ended up taking them both to a back room. They were in the middle of foreplay when Dmitry's phone buzzed.

"Don't mind it. It's nothing."

"But who is it?"

"A friend. It's nothing serious."

* * *

 

'New message:

im outside this club with a friend. where are you?'

**Author's Note:**

> Yes, I know this chapter isn't the best, but I swear I'll edit it as I go along. I always do. So give it time, it will get better.
> 
> I know Roger's name sounds like the name of a very famous collaborative dramatist/composer pairing, but when your dad's name is Oscar Hammerstein, it's bound to happen. This was completely accidental before I remembered Rodgers and Hammerstein and decided to use it in here. Also, his view on fat people. That would be better explained in the next chapter.


End file.
